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Feminist Light

Fighting the male-dominated corporate media and some other stuff!

Polite feminism for more delicate sensibilities
Posting Access:
All Members , Moderated
Easy, rudeness-free feminism for middle-class straight white non-trans women!
Code of Conduct

Participation in feminist_lite means that you have read and understand these rules. Ignorance of the rules is not an excuse. If you have a question, please email the moderator.

General Guidelines
feminist_lite is for polite discussion and gentle, non-threatening debate of feminist issues from an anti-sexist standpoint. This community is an affirmative space dedicated to the examination of both oppression and privilege but not the intersections thereof. We are interested in addressing these things in mostly their theoretical applications.

This community can get very heated. If you find yourself disagreeing with another member, please keep a few things in mind. Criticize ideas and arguments in a gentle tone, and be sure not to say anything mean about the person presenting them. While we value personal experience deeply, please also be aware that it cannot always be extrapolated into a universal point. Everyone experiences life differently, we need to acknowledge that and work to understand those differences. Jokes and sarcasm (and cursing and anger) are NOT WELCOME in feminist_lite. Please understand that this is the internet, and your joking or sarcastic tone may not translate into text and cursing may make the other community members cry.

Things to note
feminist_lite has a strong focus on etiquette. This means that the community qualifies as “safe space” for most people with an emphasis on middle-class straight white real women. You can rest assured knowing personal attacks and deliberately mean comments are not ever allowed under any circumstances. Be aware that some people will inevitably and unintentionally say bigoted things, out of ignorance, during their learning process. When this happens, we don’t ban - we ignore or, in a sweet and gentle tone, suggest that they what they are saying might offend some people. There is no prerequisite saying one must be completely enlightened and prejudice-free before joining the community, and it is loosely encouraged for one to be committed to growth - to examining one’s own beliefs, critically and with an open mind.

Specific Un-allowed Acts

• Baiting - making inflammatory statements for the purposes of provoking a reaction - is not allowed. If you link to an article or bring up a question, please be sure to include your opinion.

• Derailing - bringing up instances of bad things happening to the marginalized in the middle of a discussion about similar bad things happening to straight, able-bodied white women - isn't cool. Yes. Life can suck if you're a person of color/queer/disabled/etc. But we do not need to discuss the latter within a post about the trials of the former unless it somehow highlights the oppression of middle- or upper-class able-bodied straight white non-trans women. It can be beneficial to discuss these things, but please consider making a new post.

And always, examine your position on the metaphorical map. Most of us are both oppressed and privileged in a myriad of ways. This is a feminist community, and being about women gives us leave to ignore all of the OTHER factors that affect womens' lives unless we deign to be a benevolent warrior against those issues.

• Rudeness and Tone - This is a community for polite, detached discourse. Please refrain from using an aggressive, sarcastic, or otherwise mean tone in writing comments and entries. Repeated rudeness will result in a mod warning.

Macros - use of image macros: JPGs, GIFs, or other imbedded/linked images that serve as approximations of one-liners. These often offensive pictures contain abbreviations like 'WTF' or 'ORLY' paired with the picture. Use of such images is never appropriate, nor productive and will result in a warning from the mod team.

Sexism/Sexist Language
Sexism = Prejudice against white women + Being a man or a male-to-"woman" trans-sexual
Individuals and institutions can be sexist. Sexism can be as plain as the belief that white women shouldn't be educated; or as complex as the array of stereotypes, attitudes, and power inequalities that perpetuate rape culture. None of this is acceptable in feminist_lite. Notes, warnings, and/or banning will apply to sexist statements. (We assume that membership in feminist_lite means that posters are aware of and reject sexism. If you have questions about a comment or post that you wish to make that may or may not be sexist, please feel free to email the moderators.)

Reverse Sexism
We do not recognize "reverse" sexism, i.e. the idea that white women are capable of acting thinking in a sexist, racist, ablist, classist, homophobic, or transphobic manner toward men. The reason for this is that white women do not, as a group, hold privilege or institutional power over anyone. While white women may be individually prejudiced against men, and may even act against them, it is an instance of prejudice, not sexism.
Sexist Language
Sexist and misogynistic language is not welcome in this community. Calling someone a gendered slur - words traditionally used against women, such as bitch or slut - are NEVER acceptable. Using them to degrade other women is not cool. Additionally, condescending terms of "endearment," like honey or sweetie are also frowned upon. These words are frequently used to demean participants in debates, and we ask that members think about their intent before using them.

Homophobia/Homophobic Language

Try not to say "faggot" or "dyke" or anything. If it's really that hard to avoid, try becoming a political lesbian or getting some lesbian friends or something. That will give you a free pass to say whatever you want about the homos, and you'll have plenty of days filled with clear-eyed gazes to reinforce your feminist identity.

Trans-sexualism/Trans-sexualist Language

This is a place for bio women to air our concerns with the patriarchy. Trans-sexuals are allowed to participate as long as they watch their male tone and share their life stories at the demand of real women. Failure to respond in a gentle tone will result in an immediate ban.

A person's sex is limited to chromosomes and genitals at birth. All women are born with 2 X chromosomes, are assigned girls at birth, and live their formative years bereft of the male privilege available to bio men and mt"W" trans-sexuals. Excluding the case of the intersexual, both gender and sex are static black and white options. This community does not buy into the "continuum" model so popular in transgenderist circles.

It is imperative to remember that all cultures, languages, etc. break down components of sexuality similar to the ways that are commonly done in English/White Euro-descendant cultures and the models and experiences of white women in the latter are universally applicable. The dominant desire to neatly separate sex, gender (identity), sexual orientation and sexual behaviour in English/White Euro-descendant cultures is the best model to discuss sexuality but it is not the only one so others should be humored.

Victim/Survivor Blaming
Some victims and survivors are not to blame for their trauma, whatever they did or did not do. The response of a victim/survivor to her trauma should not be used to invalidate her situation. The responsibility for a crime belongs to the criminal, not the victim/survivor depending on the characteristics of the assailant and of the victim/survivor.

Racism/Racist Language
Racism = Racial prejudice

We strive to live in a colorblind world. We recognize that there are parts of the world in which white people do not hold institutional power, and that there are parts of the world in which white people do not live, and in general racism in one part of the world balances out racism in another part.

Race is a social construct and therefore irrelevant and not something anyone should ever talk about.

Because different places have different histories, the same realities do not play out in different parts of the world. The same body in one place may experience X type of racism. If it travels a few time zones over, the next day, it may not experience X type of racism but may have picked up Y type of racism, so do not ignore the claims by anyone that they have experienced, no matter if they are white, beige, blue, green, purple, or teal with pink polka-dots.

Reverse Racism
Reverse racism is not a valid concept because all racism, no matter who it is targeting, is just plain racism.

Racist slurs against ANYONE, including white women, will not be tolerated in feminist_lite.

A special note on religion
Religion on a whole must be respected within this forum. It can and often is a crucial and positive component of many feminist members, although fundamentalists can be addressed as a particular sect/cult/denomination/division does anti-feminist things (e.g. burqa) or takes sexist stances.

Please take the time to use gentle, thoughtful words before commenting in this space. Or better yet, critique ideas in a polite, liberal debate rather than dismiss them with pithy language.

Some people believe in reclamation, but this community does not support the use of unpleasant words by anyone.

feminist_lite Courtesy Guidelines


Local Events and Charity posts: Posting about a local event or fund raising for a charity, even if feminist in nature, is not allowed. The purpose of feminist_lite is to have feminist based discussions. Posts about local events and charities do not open up discussion about an issue. As well, remember that members of the community are from all over the world, and it is impossible to have posts advertising feminists events from every city the community has a member in.

Icons: Please use icons that are inline with the community rules (no sexist language, pictures, etc.). Also - please consider the topic when using an icon. Perhaps having an icon of a dead body would not be appropriate in a domestic violence post for example.

We are bound to disagree on the multitude of issues within feminism(s). We're also bound to value some mini-causes more than others and find some issues to be of particular importance while others are not. This is completely natural.

While we differ greatly in what we may find "important" within feminism, we should never make another feminist feel as though her own personal causes/complaints/issues are not important. With this in mind, we are adding the following guidelines for discussion within the community.

All issues are worth discussing! If you genuinely believe that certain issues are so small that focusing on them is a waste of time, posting to say so is a waste of time! A better strategy would be for you to start a new post about what you feel is an important issue, and simply not engage with the posts you feel are time-wasters. It is not appropriate to criticize the importance or lack thereof of a pre-existing thread. If you don't think it's worth talking about, then don't talk about it!

Please don't try to write off things as "too little to matter." While you might not find a particular joke, phrasing, commercial, advertisement, or interaction offensive, if a member posts about something that was bothering her, chances are she was posting in order to gain support and encouragement. While you may disagree with the severity/importance of an event, it's important not to duplicate the unsupportiveness the poster is probably receiving elsewhere in her life. Try to put yourself in her shoes. If you simply cannot say something supportive, refrain from commenting.

People have different priorities, in terms of which issues to focus on, and it's impossible to get everyone to agree. But we can each focus on the issues that are personally meaningful, relevant, important, etc. to us and strive to maintain an awareness of the issues/activism other people are involved with, supporting each other whenever possible. What's important is recognizing that everything is connected.

If a person is focusing on an issue that you feel is so small as to be irrelevant, instead of criticizing her, consider the following:
A) Focusing on a "small" issue does not automatically and always mean one is not simultaneously focusing on other ("bigger, more important") issues
B) Engaging in activism in relation to a "small" issue may propel a person to engage in "bigger and better" activism. You never know what a person's niche is going to be.
C) Just because you don't feel something is important, doesn't mean it's not important to anyone.
D) Any action a person takes to create positive change in the world, no matter how seemingly small, is worthy.
amanda marcotte, ayn rand, betty friedan, biting beaver, cheryl lindsey seelhoff, clear-eyed gaze, clear-eyed lesbian gaze, deconstructing transgenderism, etiquette, gloria steinem, heart, hillary, hillary clinton, i don't see color, janice raymond, margaret sanger, non-intersectionalist feminism, not being too uppity, pandagon, second-wave feminism, sheila jeffreys, simone de beauvoir, that's not racist, w/about the white women, wasp privilege, watching your tone, white women